Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Disney Chicks: They PMS Just Like Us!

The wonderful world of Disney is full of magic, imagination, and...women. We're talking all types of women: damsels in distress, heroines, animals, psychopaths, even creepy human-fish hybrids (I'm looking at YOU, Ariel!).

Disney's first animated short came out in 1928, and the company has made over 50 full-length feature films since then, most of which have included female characters in some capacity. 

That’s a lot of women. And wherever there are a lot of women, there are a lot of hormones: hormones that lead to periods, and all the fun pre-period moodiness that accompany them. 

That’s right, folks, Disney women may be living in fairy tales, but they’re not immune to the bitchy spell cast by Aunt Flo. In fact, it seems as though some of Disney’s leading ladies were actually on the rag—or about to be—during filming.

So, fellow Disney-oplhiliac women, next time you find yourself drowning under the weight of the crimson wave, you may want to consult this list and take solace in the fact that you’re in good (magical, even!) company.

Because, hey, Disney chicks: They PMS just like us! 

They have major mood swings.

They cry over stupid shit.

So, Ariel, let's get this straight: You're sad because Daddy blew up an old globe? You must really love geography.

PS: Where the hell does a mermaid put a tampon?

And they cry whenever they look in the mirror.

OMG, is that a pimple? 

They even cry over vaginas (like, literally).

She's dressed in rags, she's on the rag...maybe she thinks if she weeps into her fairy godmother's vagina, all her troubles will just magically disappear.

(Or maybe FG can find a really tiny pumpkin to transform into a super absorbent tampon.)

They often have resting bitch face.

Forget painting with all the colors of the wind. This chick's paintin' the town red with her vajayjay.

Or, they're just straight up bitches (with anger issues).

Get her some chocolate, STAT.

Or, they're straight up, cold bitches (with anger issues).

This is what happens when Elsa's vagina decides to "let it go."

And sometimes, they're just bitches. Like, literally.

Lolz. Homonymns.

They get bloated. I mean, really bloated...

I feel ya, Ursula. Gotta stick with sweats until Aunt Flo leaves town.

...probably because they stuff their faces with whatever they can get their hands on.

She tells the man of the house that she's not hungry and then sneaks off into the kitchen in the middle of the night to binge on dancing sweets. Makes total sense.

They get weird, uncontrollable cravings.

Mmmmm...poison apple (cue slobbering and poor judgment).

All they want to do is sleep.

Seriously, dude, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Someone's gonna get bitch-slapped.

And if you try to wake them up, they just ignore you.

Get the bloody hell away from me. (See what I did there?)

They have strange compulsions to clean stuff.

Chick's clearly suffering from menorrhagia. I mean, check out that complexion. Someone go get her some damn iron tablets.

Their boobs are extra sensitive during "that time of the month."

...I'll give you a hint: It's the same color as her hair. And it’s apparently making her boobs hurt so much that she has to wear an extra-supportive, hard-shell bra.

They get super defensiveand a little paranoidwhenever they see the men in their lives whispering behind their backs.

Back away slowly, dudes.

They can be standoffish...

...or super HORNy. (Get it?)

And sometimes, they're just downright cray-cray.

She must be on a Ben & Jerry's run.

They have a hard time controlling their behavior around other people.

That "little red dragon" that follows Mulan around everywhere, telling her what to do? Clearly an allegory for Aunt Flo.

And they often find themselves in desperate need of proper feminine hygiene products.

She's a frog, dammit. Someone go get her a freaking pad.

Disney menstruation: Remember, it all started with a mouse...

...who started her period.

(Talk about a maximum absorbency pad.)


  1. hahah . this is funny and irritating at the same time . that's a hard situation to think that fairytale would experience the same like human . but that's kind of a relief to know this and it made my mood lighter .xD